These days, “gaslighting” has become one of those words everyone is talking about—and for a good reason. This manipulative tactic can leave you questioning your own memories, your perception, and even your self-worth. It can happen anywhere someone has access to your trust: in relationships, at work, with friends, or even family. Gaslighting can start subtly, but over time, it chips away at your confidence, leaving you confused and doubting even the most basic things about yourself.

So, What Exactly is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is all about control. The term actually comes from the 1944 movie Gaslight, where a husband manipulates his wife by making small changes in their home and then convinces her she’s imagining it, making her feel like she’s losing her mind. Today, gaslighting is recognized as a form of emotional abuse that, left unchecked, can leave a lasting mark on your mental and emotional well-being.

Signs Someone Might Be Gaslighting You

Feeling consistently confused or second-guessing yourself way too often? It might not just be you. Here are some signs that could mean gaslighting is at play:

1. They Rewrite Reality
   Gaslighters have a way of rewriting history or denying things that happened. If you bring up something they did that hurt you, they might respond with, “I never said that” or “You’re making things up.” Over time, these responses make you question your perception of reality.
2. They Dismiss Your Feelings
   Ever heard, “You’re too sensitive” or “You’re just being dramatic”? Minimizing your emotions is a classic move. By making you feel like your feelings aren’t justified, gaslighters try to erode your confidence and make you less likely to bring up issues in the future.
3. They Always Flip the Script
   Gaslighters are pros at turning things around. Confront them about something they did, and suddenly you’re the “angry one” or “making a big deal out of nothing.” This tactic pushes you to question your role and makes you feel like maybe you’re the problem.
4. They Create Confusion
   Confusion is their secret weapon. Gaslighters might say one thing, then completely contradict it later, making you feel like you’re the one who’s not keeping track. Before you know it, you’re doubting your memory and your sense of reality.
5. They Project Their Actions Onto You
   If they’re being unfaithful, they accuse you of cheating. If they’re lying, they claim you’re dishonest. This “mirroring” tactic deflects attention from their own actions and creates more doubt in your mind.
6. They Isolate You from Others
   A gaslighter often tries to separate you from your support system, saying things like “They don’t understand us” or “Only I get you.” This isolates you from anyone who might offer a reality check, making it easier for them to keep control.

Protecting Yourself from Gaslighting

Gaslighting can make you feel small, unheard, and like you’re losing control. But there are ways to fight back and protect your sense of self.

1. Trust Your Gut
   If something feels off, honor that feeling. No one should make you question your emotions. Keeping a journal can also help you keep track of events and conversations, giving you something concrete to look back on if you start to doubt yourself.
2. Get Outside Support
   Talk to friends, family, or even a therapist—people who can give you an outside perspective. Gaslighting relies on isolation, so having people in your corner is key. Sometimes, just hearing someone say, “No, that’s not normal,” can be a game-changer.
3. Set Boundaries
   Boundaries are everything with a gaslighter. If they won’t respect your reality, make it clear that you won’t engage until they do. Setting boundaries might be uncomfortable, but sometimes, creating space is essential for protecting yourself.
4. Seek Professional Help if You Need It
   Therapy can provide tools and support to help you rebuild confidence and take control of your reality. A therapist can also help you recognize unhealthy patterns and provide strategies for healing.

Moving Forward

Gaslighting is powerful and can make breaking free feel impossible, but recognizing it for what it is—a form of control—can help you reclaim your truth. Understanding the signs, honoring your own experiences, and surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you stay grounded in reality. You deserve to trust your instincts and stand confidently in your truth.